Poetry: Twice now

Twice Now

by Tatiana Wyand

4/2/23

I feel pain

For I know what’s to come

My soul cries out

Already in mourning

And it hasn’t even begun

Your mind is wandering in circles

Confusion spinning in your eyes

I lash out in anger and impatience

Which I now realize

Stems from desperate fear and loss

Where are you going?

You’ve never been that near

Now you’re farther away

Yet gripping onto me

Afraid I might run away

My fear comes out in snaps

Like licks from the flame

I’m angry for what’s to come

I already feel the pain

Please don’t make me go through this

It will be twice now

I can’t handle this again

It was painful enough when it was quick

But drawn out, losing you

Little by little

Over and over

I’ll go insane

I want to be strong for you

Like I was able to be for him

But I’m still bleeding from that wound

I can’t handle the weight of you too

The world is spinning around me

How is this my fate

I don’t want to lose you

So I push you away

I feel ashamed and guilty

When you tell me I’m so far away

I love you dearly

I want the best for you

To live with no pain or fear

I don’t know how to help you

It just isn’t clear

I’m doing my best

And I’m hoping beyond hope

You’ll live the rest of your life

Knowing and feeling how much I love you

And that I will always be here.