Self Sabotage?

I received a newsletter recently from a yoga instructor I really enjoy and respect. The topic of the newsletter was how to get a yoga practice that sticks and becomes consistent.

I’m always curious how other people work to find consistency, as this is something I have struggled with my entire life. (more on this later) But I was really suprised when the first tip was to not negotiate with terrorists and the terrorist being yourself. Basically, she was saying we are our own worst enemy and will always find excuses to not do the things that are best for us even if we want to do them.

Now, I can’t really argue with that as, like I said, this is something I have experienced myself. I absolutely LOVE yoga and even am a certified yoga instructor. But, do I have a consistent practice? Not by a long shot. I can go months without rolling out my mat. So, why did this statement bother me so much?

To be honest, it just didn’t fit with everything else she teaches and talks about and so it made me curious to talk more with her about it. I responded to the emailed newsletter mentioning enjoying her work and feeling confused by this statement since she talks so much about releasing trauma and emotions that are stored within the body. I asked her if she didn’t feel that telling herself she was an enemy of her own self would do more harm than good.

Luckily, she welcomed the question and dialogue. She talked about her propensity towards self sabotage and how she has to make things nonnegotiable in order to achieve her set goals. Of course, this makes perfect sense and I honor whatever people feel works best for them.

But, in my own response to that email, I found myself challenging her once more. Is it really self sabotage to not want to do something, or could it be our intuition trying to get us to slow down and actually listen to what we need? We often think we know what’s best for ourselves, but how often do we take time to stop and find our flow based soley on our intuition, trusting we will get what we need instead of what we think we want?

In saying that, I 100% acknowledge that being able to test that out is a privilege not everyone has. And I’m not saying it’s what everyone should do, but isn’t the thought intriguing?

I realized that I’ve been really trying to do this in my own life lately and in not forcing myself to do things, my intuition is slowly revealing to me new ways of self care and boundary setting that I never considered. It’s still a very weak muscle for me and I’m slowly trying to strengthen it, but I’m excited to see where it leads me.

Already, I’ve realized that I cannot force myself to work out in ways that do not feel fun or like play. I naturally want to move my body by dancing, walking in nice weather either alone or with someone I enjoy talking to, I love swimming in mountain lakes, doing yoga when my body needs it, and very recently I’ve discovered rope flow! I’ll be doing another post all about that. :)

All this to say, I challenge you to stop and sit with the notion of what feels like self sabotage and ask yourself, is it really sabotage or is it communication to wait for something better- for you…

I’d LOVE to hear your thoughts on this. Feel free to leave a comment and start up a discussion on this topic!

Until next time!

xoxo